Divorce and Remarriage Part 1
I have discovered while studying this subject that this is a very complex issue. It is very hard to study God's Word free of our pre-suppositions. And often times I find myself wondering at what appears to be contradictions in God's Word. Let me give you an example:
Romans 4:1-4 What shall we say then that Abraham our father, as pertaining to the flesh, hath found?
2 For if Abraham were justified by works, he hath whereof to glory; but not before God.
3 For what saith the scripture? Abraham believed God, and it was counted unto him for righteousness.
4 Now to him that worketh is the reward not reckoned of grace, but of debt.
This passage clearly states that Abraham was justified by faith. Now read this passage:
James 2:21-22
21 Was not Abraham our father justified by works, when he had offered Isaac his son upon the altar?
22 Seest thou how faith wrought with his works, and by works was faith made perfect?
This second passage appears to completely clash with the first passage. Which is it? Was Abraham justified by his works or his faith? Or was it both? There is one thing I have learned and thait is that God's Word does not contradict itself. If we have contradictions in our doctrine it is because we are interpreting God's Word wrong somewhere. If God's Words seem to contradict, it is because we are misunderstanding or misapplying a passage. This is why the context of the passage is so important. What is the person who is writing this trying to convey to their audience? How would the audience of their day understand it? In this case the first set of verses is talking about justification-- how was Abraham initially saved? The Bible makes it clear in many places that if salvation is attempted to be earned by works then we have made "grace of none affect."
The second passage's context is one of proving our faith. The verse is not referencing Abrahams initial justification like the first passage was. But rather it was saying our works prove we have faith and our faith will result in Biblical works. In other words, verse 21 is referencing the fact that Abraham's faith was proven (or justified) by his works. When he sacrificed Isaac, he was not made righteous because of his obedience but rather proved his righteousness by his obedience. We know this by the context of the verses before and after this verse.
So we see these two passages do not conflict when properly and contextually interpreted!
That was a side note and one example of the many that can make it appear that the Bible contradicts itself. The divorce and remarriage issue is no different. I would like to simply take you verse by verse through a few passages and we will see what God's Word says. I would encourage you to read all the verses more than once that I have put in this article.
I would like to start with a look at 1st Corinthians 7.
1 Corinthians 7 KJV
7 Now concerning the things whereof ye wrote unto me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman.
2 Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband.
3 Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband.
4 The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife.
5 Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency.
6 But I speak this by permission, and not of commandment.
7 For I would that all men were even as I myself. But every man hath his proper gift of God, one after this manner, and another after that.
8 I say therefore to the unmarried and widows, it is good for them if they abide even as I.
9 But if they cannot contain, let them marry: for it is better to marry than to burn.
10 And unto the married I command, yet not I, but the Lord, Let not the wife depart from her husband:
11 But and if she depart, let her remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband: and let not the husband put away his wife.
12 But to the rest speak I, not the Lord: If any brother hath a wife that believeth not, and she be pleased to dwell with him, let him not put her away.
13 And the woman which hath an husband that believeth not, and if he be pleased to dwell with her, let her not leave him.
14 For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband: else were your children unclean; but now are they holy.
15 But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God hath called us to peace.
16 For what knowest thou, O wife, whether thou shalt save thy husband? or how knowest thou, O man, whether thou shalt save thy wife?
17 But as God hath distributed to every man, as the Lord hath called every one, so let him walk. And so ordain I in all churches.
18 Is any man called being circumcised? let him not become uncircumcised. Is any called in uncircumcision? let him not be circumcised.
19 Circumcision is nothing, and uncircumcision is nothing, but the keeping of the commandments of God.
20 Let every man abide in the same calling wherein he was called.
21 Art thou called being a servant? care not for it: but if thou mayest be made free, use it rather.
22 For he that is called in the Lord, being a servant, is the Lord's freeman: likewise also he that is called, being free, is Christ's servant.
23 Ye are bought with a price; be not ye the servants of men.
24 Brethren, let every man, wherein he is called, therein abide with God.
25 Now concerning virgins I have no commandment of the Lord: yet I give my judgment, as one that hath obtained mercy of the Lord to be faithful.
26 I suppose therefore that this is good for the present distress, I say, that it is good for a man so to be.
27 Art thou bound unto a wife? seek not to be loosed. Art thou loosed from a wife? seek not a wife.
28 But and if thou marry, thou hast not sinned; and if a virgin marry, she hath not sinned. Nevertheless such shall have trouble in the flesh: but I spare you.
29 But this I say, brethren, the time is short: it remaineth, that both they that have wives be as though they had none;
30 And they that weep, as though they wept not; and they that rejoice, as though they rejoiced not; and they that buy, as though they possessed not;
31 And they that use this world, as not abusing it: for the fashion of this world passeth away.
32 But I would have you without carefulness. He that is unmarried careth for the things that belong to the Lord, how he may please the Lord:
33 But he that is married careth for the things that are of the world, how he may please his wife.
34 There is difference also between a wife and a virgin. The unmarried woman careth for the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit: but she that is married careth for the things of the world, how she may please her husband.
35 And this I speak for your own profit; not that I may cast a snare upon you, but for that which is comely, and that ye may attend upon the Lord without distraction.
36 But if any man think that he behaveth himself uncomely toward his virgin, if she pass the flower of her age, and need so require, let him do what he will, he sinneth not: let them marry.
37 Nevertheless he that standeth stedfast in his heart, having no necessity, but hath power over his own will, and hath so decreed in his heart that he will keep his virgin, doeth well.
38 So then he that giveth her in marriage doeth well; but he that giveth her not in marriage doeth better.
39 The wife is bound by the law as long as her husband liveth; but if her husband be dead, she is at liberty to be married to whom she will; only in the Lord.
40 But she is happier if she so abide, after my judgment: and I think also that I have the Spirit of God.
We notice in verse 1, the apostle Paul says, "Concerning the things whereof ye wrote unto me" so he is answering questions that were asked in a previous letter. A letter we do not have but can only assume the questions based on the answers.
He starts off by saying it is good for a man to not touch a women. The Greek here means to touch with the purpose of arousing sexual desires. I have heard people use this verse in support of not holding hands while you are dating etc. That however is not the point. I know of a bishop who would use this verse to state that a dad shouldn't hug his daughter or a grandson hug his grandma. Pure nonsense! Paul is simply saying everybody is to have their own spouse.
Now concerning the things whereof ye wrote unto me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman.
2 Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband.
The importance of understanding context and motive for the writer to write what they write cannot be overstated. You can come up with some pretty weird interpretations of scripture if you do not take this into account.
" Let every man have his own wife". Why would Paul need to say this? Because in the Greek culture it was popular (much like our culture today) to have a mistress, or for a women to have a lover apart from their marriage partner.
Furthermore the question seems to be, what do I do if my marriage partner is not sleeping with me as much as I would like? Can we divorce them? Can we just have a mistress on the side? Paul says no. "Defraud ye not one the other except if be with consent for a time". We don't know all the problems asked about, but Paul said if you need time apart to figure it out that is okay, but don't take too long.
3 Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband.
4 The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife.
5 Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency.
My point in pointing this out is so that we can realize that chapter 7 talks about several aspects of marriage and several groups of people with the purpose of addressing several different questions they must have asked him in a previous letter. We will notice that he gives each group different answers and solutions depending on their situation.
Verses 6-9 Paul gives his opinion, it is not "from the Lord" but it is from him. He is simply letting people know that it he thinks it would be great if they didn't get married but if they want to go ahead.
Verses 10-11 are referencing the same marriage issues and the same people that he started out talking to in verses 1-5. These are the ones with the problems that he told to "not defraud each other". Verses 10-11 are stating that if you have a issue about not being happy with each other (not enough intimate time seems to be the issue referenced in verses 3-5) but it could be any matter that would seem to make two people incompatible. He is saying do not divorce or remarry!
10 And unto the married I command, yet not I, but the Lord, Let not the wife depart from her husband:
11 But and if she depart, let her remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband: and let not the husband put away his wife.
If these people cannot get along and depart from each other they are to stay unmarried. However, we notice to this point Paul is assuming both partners are believers. We know this because he has not mentioned about an unbelieving partner yet and in verses 2-5 he uses words like "prayer and fasting" referencing both partners, assuming they are believers and they will work through their marriage problems like two Christians should! The two options for the married couple who are both Christians and have a disagreement, (in this case withholding lovemaking from each other) are to either separate, but not remarry, or be reconciled to each other.
Now, in verses 12-16, Paul addresses a second group of married people.
This is proven by his phrase, "But to the rest I speak." The rest of who? The people who do not fit into the first group. We see quickly what is different about the "rest". They have an unbelieving partner. This proves the first group in verses 1-11 are marriages where both partners are Christians.
Once again an understanding of the early church and culture really helps here. Why would Paul leave instructions for the believing partner on this subject if he has formerly commanded them to not be unequally yoked with the unbeliever?
We must draw the conclusion that these were not people who got married to an unbeliever when they themselves were Christians, but who had come to Christ when they were married and one partner became saved and one did not. The New Testament church would have been full of such examples. Think about it, with all those first time Christians what are the chances that both spouses would become saved every time? So what do we do with a marriage where one spouse becomes saved and the other one does not? The Apostle Paul answers the question in verse 15.
It is clear the divorce is not to be at the Christian's behest, but the desire of the unbelieving partner. "But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God hath called us to peace." (Verse 15)
"Bondage" means to enslave, literally. Metaphorically, the word bondage in Greek means "to give myself wholly to one's needs and service and to make myself a bondman to the person".
The idea is that the Christian is no longer under bondage to the marriage. I believe this would certainly include bondage to the marriage vows. Let's move on, we will come back to this point later.
Verses 13-14 are not promises that the other partner will be saved but rather a call to trust in God and leave it to Him about our partner's and children's spiritual well-being if God calls us to stay with an unbelieving partner.
Verse 16 proves the point referenced above. This verse is not saying, as so often interpreted, that who knows, you might convert them so you should stay with them. It is rather saying, in a negative light, do you think that you can convert them? Who is it Who converts? It is God, not us. This is supported by the fact that Paul states that a reason for leaving is because we are called to peace. We are to do the peaceful thing in the case of the unbelieving spouse insisting on a divorce.
Verse 17 says, "But as God hath distributed to every man, as the Lord hath called every one, so let him walk. And so ordain I in all churches."
So in the context here, if you came to Christ with an unbelieving spouse, "so let you walk." If you came to Christ and you are on your third marriage, do not break up with her and go looking for your first wife-- that is condemned in Deuteronomy.
Paul uses a number of examples in verses 18-19 to drive his point home, like circumcision, being a servant, etc., and verse 20 concludes, "let every man abide in the same calling wherein he was called." In the verses before, he was talking about our marriage partners when we come to Christ. The New Testament church, as I mentioned, would have been full of people who were not on their first marriage. We have no indication they were made to go back and find their first partner. In fact I believe it is wrong to do so. Verse 20 states, "Let every man abide in the same calling wherein he was called." In other words, when you came to Christ, you came as a new creature, the past is forgiven and you are to honor your current marriage commitment if you can!
You can argue these verses are not talking about marriage, but they are in that context and we know the early church would have had big problems if they would have had to sort out tangled relationships and make people go back to their former spouses or live single the rest of their life. Thus Paul pens these words:
15 But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God hath called us to peace.
16 For what knowest thou, O wife, whether thou shalt save thy husband? or how knowest thou, O man, whether thou shalt save thy wife?
17 But as God hath distributed to every man, as the Lord hath called every one, so let him walk. And so ordain I in all churches.
18 Is any man called being circumcised? let him not become uncircumcised. Is any called in uncircumcision? let him not be circumcised.
19 Circumcision is nothing, and uncircumcision is nothing, but the keeping of the commandments of God.
20 Let every man abide in the same calling wherein he was called.
21 Art thou called being a servant? care not for it: but if thou mayest be made free, use it rather.
22 For he that is called in the Lord, being a servant, is the Lord's freeman: likewise also he that is called, being free, is Christ's servant.
23 Ye are bought with a price; be not ye the servants of men.
24 Brethren, let every man, wherein he is called, therein abide with God.
Let's look at verses 26-40:
26 I suppose therefore that this is good for the present distress, I say, that it is good for a man so to be.
27 Art thou bound unto a wife? seek not to be loosed. Art thou loosed from a wife? seek not a wife.
28 But and if thou marry, thou hast not sinned; and if a virgin marry, she hath not sinned. Nevertheless such shall have trouble in the flesh: but I spare you.
29 But this I say, brethren, the time is short: it remaineth, that both they that have wives be as though they had none;
30 And they that weep, as though they wept not; and they that rejoice, as though they rejoiced not; and they that buy, as though they possessed not;
31 And they that use this world, as not abusing it: for the fashion of this world passeth away.
32 But I would have you without carefulness. He that is unmarried careth for the things that belong to the Lord, how he may please the Lord:
33 But he that is married careth for the things that are of the world, how he may please his wife.
34 There is difference also between a wife and a virgin. The unmarried woman careth for the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit: but she that is married careth for the things of the world, how she may please her husband.
35 And this I speak for your own profit; not that I may cast a snare upon you, but for that which is comely, and that ye may attend upon the Lord without distraction.
36 But if any man think that he behaveth himself uncomely toward his virgin, if she pass the flower of her age, and need so require, let him do what he will, he sinneth not: let them marry.
37 Nevertheless he that standeth stedfast in his heart, having no necessity, but hath power over his own will, and hath so decreed in his heart that he will keep his virgin, doeth well.
38 So then he that giveth her in marriage doeth well; but he that giveth her not in marriage doeth better.
39 The wife is bound by the law as long as her husband liveth; but if her husband be dead, she is at liberty to be married to whom she will; only in the Lord.
40 But she is happier if she so abide, after my judgment: and I think also that I have the Spirit of God.
Twice in this letter, the Apostle Paul refers to marriage as a bond or bondage. Once in verse 16 where he says the believer is not under bondage to the marriage or obligated to it's vows if the unbeliever wants to leave.
The second time is in verse 39.
39 The wife is bound by the law as long as her husband liveth; but if her husband be dead, she is at liberty to be married to whom she will; only in the Lord.
Verse 39 uses the Greek work "Deo" translated "bound" and it is a cousin of the word "Douloo" translated "bondage" in verse 15. Both mean to be bound to something or under obligation . In verse 15 specifically as a slave serving your partner.
So in verse 15 the partner is free from the bondage of marriage if the case is one of an unbelieving partner.
In these verses (26-40) Paul changes gears and talks about several different things than what was mentioned beforehand. I notice he is talking about a man's daughters and if he should give his daughters to marry or not. He talks about what "is good for this present distress." (The time in which they live.) Verse 39 might draw the attention of those who believe that remarriage is never okay, however, in this context Paul is simply saying that if a man gives his daughter to marry, that she will be bound by the law to her husband as long as he lives. It is God's plan that a man and a woman live together for life. However, the scripture gives us two examples of situations where this bond can be broken and remarriage can take place. One example was given in this passage we just studied (V.15) and that is of the unbelieving spouse who desires to leave. We must not rip two or more verses out of this text to prove our point or uphold our church tradition and ignore the context around them or what the words really mean.
15 But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God hath called us to peace.
One could argue that to not be bound to the marriage does not mean free to remarry. However, you will notice Paul does not forbid remarriage in verses 12-16 which references the people with the unbelieving spouses. Remarriage is only forbidden in verses 1-11 referencing two believing spouses. It is assumed by Paul that remarriage follows divorce if the divorce is for Biblical reasons. That is why we do not see remarriage forbidden in verse 15, when we are told that the believer is not under bondage to the marriage. We will see the same thing assumed by Jesus in the book of Matthew.
In : Christian Living
Tags: divorce remarriage mennonites
